Draft of Chapter One, now open for feedback : )

Okay… I’m putting myself out there now. If you’d like to read the current draft of the first chapter (four pages) of Mirror of Sparrows, then click the link below. I just reread it and found a funny spelling mistake. See if you can find it, too : )

https://ellenbrockediting.com/mirror-of-sparrows-3/

It would really bless me if you let me know that you read. I know a lot of you like to stay anonymous, but please leave a comment or feedback, either here or on the linked page. This would really mean a lot to me. Mostly, I receive comments from my mom, Verne and Julia (Thank you Mom, Verne and Julia! You guys are awesome!), but it would be cool to hear from other people following my journey as well, especially for this.

Thank you!

 

6 thoughts on “Draft of Chapter One, now open for feedback : )

  1. Read the comments by the other people- valid thoughts, but also know- people have many different thoughts- right or wrong. If I were to read this- I’d totes recommend it to my middle school students- well, i’d tell them alcohol is bad. Intriguing, (this is what I would call a great hook- in a 5 paragraph essay)- was a little confused on the age of the main character but I did like how he’s good at pick-locking (if that’s a thing) and seems like a “cool” kiddo. Sigh, it’s like a teaser for a movie- I WANT MORE! Keep the words coming!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hi Vanessa, I was soooo excited to finally read a snippet of, “Mirror of Sparrows” and it did not disappoint! To echo Julia–I WANT MORE! 🙂 I also read the comments by other writers (I assume) and initially I was a little taken aback by some of the comments but after re-reading your chapter and re-reading the comments, I realize you are a craftsperson, as are they, and their comments are addressed as one craftsperson to another as all of you strive to hone your craft. We will never know how many versions you went through just to get that first chapter to where it is but as with all artisans, the process is always improving and with each iteration you’re getting better and better. There are no shortcuts to becoming a great artist so please don’t ever get discouraged! God clearly gave you the talent and it’s so awesome to see you stepping out and multiplying it! Thank you for sharing your journey with us.

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